4PT16.15 – Thoughts My Wife Has Had Since Rifle Season Ended

Vermont rifle season ended yesterday and I wasn’t the only one that had thoughts running through my mind. My wife did too. I was able to glean a few of the thoughts she had shortly after the season ended to share with you. Her thoughts are italicized, semi-audible mumblings under her breath are in bold, and clearly audible statements are in all caps and bold.
“Should I hug him or give him space?”
“Why does he just stare at the wall with a blank look on his face?”
“Did he just hug his rifle?”
“He did. He just hugged his rifle. You have got to be kidding me.”
“Are those tears? OMG!”
“Should I ask him if he’s hungry or not?”
“He’s not eating much; I hope he’ll be OK.”
“This is getting old. I wish he’d grow up.”
“Does he remember who I am? It’s been so long since he’s seen me.”
“Ugh, he’s in such a bad mood. Stupid deer season.”
“This is so ridiculous.”
“Why is this such a big deal? All this over a few dumb deer.”
“Hunt in a place where there are actually deer.”
“I don’t think he knows who I am.”
“He’s been staring at the wall for hours now.”
“That’s weird. He kinda smiles if I pinch his cheeks and say the words ‘Muzzleloader season’ like I’m talking to a baby.”
“NOOOOOO! WHY IS THERE ANOTHER SEASON?!”
“I can’t believe this.”
“Will he ever get off the couch again?”
“With an attitude like this, he doesn’t deserve to eat.”
“I LOVE YOU. SNAP OUT OF IT.”
“That didn’t help.”
“I think he needs professional help.”
“YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.”
There were actually a lot more thoughts, but many of them can’t be repeated here. I will say this – if it wasn’t for her loving support and willingness to let me hunt A LOT, I wouldn’t have seen nearly as many trees as I did – maples, pines, beeches, oaks, hemlocks, firs, etc. The list goes on and on. She will be happy to know that I have taken her advice and pursued professional help from a guy named Thompson Center. We have a therapy session planned for this Saturday morning to discuss a doe permit that is burning a hole in my wallet.
I hope you all had a successful season however it happens to be that you measure that. Mine was good, but I am a bit bummed I didn’t have the good fortune of seeing a deer.
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She seems to have your number. We hunters are fortunate to be simple– and passionate for the hunt.
Maybe Montana Boone could put you on some deer…….
Okay, This is simply hysterical! I laughed the whole way through reading this. I can just see that conversation playing out! LOL