For immediate Release: January 11, 2017
Media Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
WINDSOR COUNTY, VT – Vermont hunter, Tim Biebel, had successful spring and fall hunting seasons in 2016 according to Tim Biebel.
“Tree sightings and encounters were through the roof this year,” he commented when pressed for information on what made his season so successful in light of his empty freezer. “You can’t get that experience out west, that’s for sure.”
“I even had the opportunity to harvest two young trees when they stepped into my shooting lanes.”
Vermont Fish and Wildlife does not have good data on the number of trees harvested with weaponry typically used in the pursuit of big game animals, and even though Biebel is confident it was an above average year he still plans to complain over the lack of available data.
"It's ridiculous," he whined.
He attributes the high harvest to a combination of factors - a lack of concentration, a broken limb saw he carried in his backpack all year that he didn’t bother to take the time to fix and a solid population of trees.
“Plain and simple - they’re everywhere. There has to be a least a million of them statewide, but I’m not 100% sure so don't quote me.”
At press time, Biebel was planning to search eBay for high-quality chainsaws with “really sharp blades.”
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