I’ve often thought that, despite the hard work, hosting a hunting show would be fun. Obviously, the show would be immensely popular and leave a lasting, positive impact on viewers. It would combine the sexiness of a Mariah Carey music video to attract the shallow minded viewers, but also bring the intensity found in a Bob Ross “The Joy of Painting” episode for those who desire the many qualities Ms. Carey lacks. That big buck in the first episode won’t be standing behind a half dead tree, it’ll be behind a “scantily clad, happy little hemlock.” See what a mean? That’s television gold if I do say so myself.
For immediate Release: April 7, 2017
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Windsor County, VT – Avid Vermont deer hunter, Tim Biebel, has become increasingly concerned as of late that the estimated arrival of his next child will interfere with the upcoming deer season. News of the pregnancy was met with a mixture of joy and caution, especially given the painful losses experienced over the last four years and how a late September due date will affect his fall hunting plans.
“One minute I’m washing dishes at the kitchen sink, and the next minute I’m standing in Rite Aid trying to locate the correct pregnancy test, “Biebel said. “It’s hard to focus when the realization sets in that your fall hunting plans will be affected.”
It’s embarrassing to admit that I don’t own a shotgun. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never had the desire to own one, but for some reason I’ve never purchased one. Times are changing, however, and the time has come to drop some hard-earned dough on a new scattergun. But which one?
My hunting forays have yet to include the need for a shotgun, except for a few squirrel hunts when I borrowed my dad’s single shot .410. And then last year I tried spring turkey hunting for the first time and a friend loaned me his Remington model 870 12 Gauge. I didn’t kill anything with it (except for a sapling or two) but my few experiences in the turkey woods last spring were enough to convince me that I needed to take up the hobby on a more serious level. To do that, I’ll need my own gun, I figure.
For immediate Release: February 27, 2017
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Windsor County, VT – Recently, local license holder and hunter Tim Biebel has been accused of being a “Non-Consumptive User.” The term Non-Consumptive User has gained recognition over the last few years among those who hunt as the politically correct term for an anti-hunter. However, some claim that Biebel’s lack of success afield qualifies him for the label.
“He really doesn’t harvest anything,” claimed one hunter. “How can he be considered a consumptive user if he didn’t, in fact, consume anything?”
“He definitely qualifies,” stated another hunter confidently. “Dude’s a train wreck in the woods.”
Recently, my free time has been consumed with dreaming about baitfish, passing thoughts about the coming spring turkey hunt, and February. Thoughts of February are enough to freeze the fun out of anything warm that could be taking place. There is something about this month that I have grown to dislike with a passion. It could be the cold, but it could also be the snow. It could be both.
February is to blame for the lack of stories that have been on the blog as of late. Writer’s block is what some call it, but not me. I’ve never considered myself to be a writer (my bad grammar and typos are a testament to that), so it’s fair to say that the blame is squarely a result of a general apathy toward life brought on by the month of February. It was only made worse earlier today.
This morning, an old, formidable foe has reappeared in the driveway of my friend’s house. He was kind enough to send me some wonderful pictures he snapped from his back deck. The buck looked familiar, so I filed back through my trail camera photos from last fall and found him right where I last saw him. On my computer screen.