When extended family comes to visit, I’m not one to spare the good stuff. “Hey, wanna grill a woodchuck?” I asked my brother-in-law as we were chipping golf balls around the yard one evening. Brock is not one to back down from a challenge and he claims to know how to grill, so I fished the poorly packaged woodchuck out of my chest freezer and plopped it on the table. Silence filled the air as intrigue descended upon the crowd of young children gathered around.
“So, I noticed a charge on the credit card to Vermont Fish and Wildlife for your Moose application. When is the season again?” my wife questioned me the other day.
“Oh, you know….early October,” I replied.
I tried to leave, but before I could she hit me with a dose of her reality. “You do remember that I’m due at the end of September, right?”
I’ve often thought that, despite the hard work, hosting a hunting show would be fun. Obviously, the show would be immensely popular and leave a lasting, positive impact on viewers. It would combine the sexiness of a Mariah Carey music video to attract the shallow minded viewers, but also bring the intensity found in a Bob Ross “The Joy of Painting” episode for those who desire the many qualities Ms. Carey lacks. That big buck in the first episode won’t be standing behind a half dead tree, it’ll be behind a “scantily clad, happy little hemlock.” See what a mean? That’s television gold if I do say so myself.
For immediate Release: April 7, 2017
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Windsor County, VT – Avid Vermont deer hunter, Tim Biebel, has become increasingly concerned as of late that the estimated arrival of his next child will interfere with the upcoming deer season. News of the pregnancy was met with a mixture of joy and caution, especially given the painful losses experienced over the last four years and how a late September due date will affect his fall hunting plans.
“One minute I’m washing dishes at the kitchen sink, and the next minute I’m standing in Rite Aid trying to locate the correct pregnancy test, “Biebel said. “It’s hard to focus when the realization sets in that your fall hunting plans will be affected.”
It’s embarrassing to admit that I don’t own a shotgun. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never had the desire to own one, but for some reason I’ve never purchased one. Times are changing, however, and the time has come to drop some hard-earned dough on a new scattergun. But which one?
My hunting forays have yet to include the need for a shotgun, except for a few squirrel hunts when I borrowed my dad’s single shot .410. And then last year I tried spring turkey hunting for the first time and a friend loaned me his Remington model 870 12 Gauge. I didn’t kill anything with it (except for a sapling or two) but my few experiences in the turkey woods last spring were enough to convince me that I needed to take up the hobby on a more serious level. To do that, I’ll need my own gun, I figure.